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Wednesday 28 August 2013

10 promises I will make to my child with autism.



1. I will always fight for you.

I may not always be the most confident person, but when it comes to you, my child, I will take on anyone I have to, no matter how much more educated or knowledgeable they think they are, or how powerful they might be. I will fight for you and your needs. Always.

2. I will always believe in you.

I believe that you can achieve so many things. They may not seem much to others but to us, they are things worth celebrating. I believe in your ability to learn if you are taught the correct way. I believe you will shine in your own way and in your own time.

3. I will always be your safe place.

When things get too much and you feel anxious and alone, I will always be your safe place. Somewhere familiar and comforting to you. Whether you want a hug from me or whether you just want to be in the same room. When you need somewhere that is safe and secure, that place is me.

4. I will always love you for who you are.

 How could I do anything else? You have never changed, you have always been you, just the way you are and I will always love you for you. Anyone else would be a total stranger to me. I love you for you, always have and always will.

5. When I am told you will never do something, I will take that as a challenge.

Unless they are issuing crystal balls with qualifications now, then no one can tell me what you can't do. It will never stop us trying together and we will prove them wrong in many things.

6. I will always embrace your autism, and never be ashamed of it.

I want YOU to be proud of who you are and to be as happy as you can be in your own skin. That means you have to embrace who you are and I have to teach you by example. Autism is a part of who you are and we need to embrace it and accept it. Fighting it is no good to you, we have to work with it.

7. I will show you the patience you need.

I promise I will always be patient with you, even in those times I get frustrated for you. I will help you try and communicate your needs, I will listen to you with my heart. I will always give you the time you need to say or do what it is you want to say or do.

8. I will let go of any guilt I may feel.

No one knows for sure what causes autism, but I will not feel guilty. To my knowledge, I did not cause your autism and even if it transpires that something I did contributed to it, then what good would it do you if I torture myself about it? You need me to focus and if I am busy blaming myself, then it is me I am focusing on and not you. Guilt would only hold me back from being everything you need me to be.

9. I will always go with my instinct.

When it comes to you, no one knows you better than I do. I will never be told what is best for you by anyone. I will listen to what others have to say but I will always be guided by the fact that I know you best.
 A mother's instinct should never be ignored and I promise I will never ignore it.

10. I promise I will always be filled with pride and amazement for you.

Every mother has pride in her children. But with you, knowing how hard you have to fight just to get through one day unscathed, that pride is somehow even stronger. I marvel at the way you navigate through life in what must seem like a foreign place to you.
You are amazing and I promise you always will be and I promise to try and make you understand how amazing you are. Someday.

All my love

Your Mama



1 comment:

  1. Number 8 really hit home for me...I blame myself often and am caught in a web of guilt. I am trying to let it all go, to embrace this journey, but I am struggling right now...

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